"Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates... and on the first three dates we don't have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight." - The Rules "What's this 'we' shit, white boy?" - Tonto, replying to a hopelessly out-numbered Lone RangerHey
Chunklet, add something else to the list!
A lot of people feel I am a negative person. I do not share this view. For years, I have maintained a thoroughly (and BRUTALLY) realistic outlook on life, and I dare say it has served me well.
The questions arising to how I developed this viewpoint could be foregone conclusions according to anybody who has a tendency to jump to a fundamental attribution error. "You were probably traumatized somehow," would be the common refrain. Yeah, you know what? I've been stabbed, beaten, shot at, left for dead, hospitalized, abandoned, whatever. I have watched every relationship I have ever had, from my brothers to my lovers, go straight down the drain. I have had people who I considered friends stab me in the back at their first convenience. And you know what? I don't think any of it has an impact on how I deal with people beyond being keenly aware of my surroundings.
I'm not a professional victim. Play the cards you're dealt.
I developed a corollary long ago: human beings are sacks of lying, manipulative, horrific shit. Somebody will attempt to hurt you ONLY if they think you cannot do them harm. Make no mistake... it is a cynical, awful, and unpleasant way of thinking.
It is also 100 percent true.
Take my business, for example. At first, I was very flexible. And people took advantage of that. I lost money that I needed for things like food and clothing because I gave the benefit of the doubt to people I should not have. But now I find myself saying 'no' so much more often that it has become a cadence.
And man, is it gratifying.
Self-centered? No. I've never left somebody hanging out of sheer spite, no matter how much I've wanted to. I'm hardly an emotional vampire, feeding on misfortune or reveling in it. I'm not hyper-social, but I'm only mean when I feel cornered, so take that as you will. I feel honest in that regard. I can't fit the square peg in the round hole anymore.
(ANnnnNNNnnnnnd 'girlfriend joke')
Shakespeare once wrote something along the lines of 'A man's good is interned with his bones.' For the most part, this is true. People will find grounds for criticism and exclusivity anywhere. Hell, people make careers out of it. I've been paid to do it because of the internet chicken-hawking this page (thanks, JET!). People watch TV programs to see it (American Idol), or read books about it, like 48 Laws of Power or any number of guides about AVOIDING criticism or utilizying tactics that will provide him or her an 'edge' in life.
Being 'good' has no influence in life at the end of the day... in Platonic circles, being good was seen as it's own reward. Where are the Elysian Fields? Nowhere on your GPS. Some of the most beautiful and wonderful people in the world will die unloved and abused. Yet people will worship serial killers for years as they sit in a white room, waiting to die in a far more humane manner than they granted their victims.
Think of it this way... if the point of Christianity is 'God loves everyone', why do people feel morally satisfied when decrying other people as sinners or fools? If God really loved everyone, he would not require lip-service. You would have no exclusivity. You would be LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
Expect the pain. Don't give anybody anything you're not willing to lose. Everything else is just social proof.
"Never underestimate THE OTHER guy's greed."
