Saturday, April 14, 2007

Party day part 2

Cleaning up from last night... and I really mean cleaning up... I'm off to the Earth Wind and Fire premiere party. That's a band with black people in it, for those of you in Japan from Canada or some shitty part of Europ who may be reading this and have never met a black person before.

I'm sleepy, but I'll rock some coffee and be good.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Fuck it.

3:42 PM. If I don't hear anything by 8, I am going out getting shitfaced, and fucking handling my biz.

Tonight will end in laughter and/or vomit. WORD LIFE!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Dear life, as of Wed, April 11 at 11:18 PM

Life, if you were a person, I would hope that you and everybody you care about dies in a fucking elevator accident.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Well, that's 2750 dollars I'll be using towards nothing good.

In celebration of today's mercy screw jackpot, I bring you some classic Superchunk:

Monday, April 09, 2007

I've been drunk for a week.

I just realized I've been slightly hammered/buzzed for a week. I don't view it as an accomplishment or something to brag about*, I just think it's strange for me. I get to feeling strange and otherworldly when I drink... not in a mean way, or in a 'commit a crime' way... it just seems that things assume a stark formlessness and the shell of reality seems to prevail itself far more like a tapestry of dreams and simulacra, where real events or occurences don't carry any particular meaning or weight. And all I can do is smile.

Dis-association maybe? I don't quite know how to describe it. It's not like I feel that I need alcohol or anything.

* = Although I would like to remind my readers that, much like Pos from De La Soul, "Instead of zig-zaggin', (I) got a degree in braggin'."

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Our boy Mike joined Queens of the Stone Age!

KXLA veteran and all-around sweetheart Michael Shuman has apparently joined Queens of the Stone Age. Mike plays in Wires on Fire as well, who fucking RULE. Imagine a bunch of 20 year-old Birthday Party fanatics who just slayyyyyyy like they don't know how to do anything else.

I think Mike's still in WoF, which means he'll be tag-teaming all kinds of girls betwixt the two... although Jeff Lynn may pull away with the trophy on that one. Good move, DJ!

"Are you girls like, the cowgirls of Duke?"

Ha. I will start referring to girls like this as 'Cowgirls' from now on.


By the way, free tequila is kind of awesome.

'She had a dick, man.'

Spent the day handling business and trying to relax. Best friend from up the street and I ended up getting shitfaced, listening to J Zay, and watching Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. I had plans for the evening, but I actually slept for once. I wish I could keep a decent sleep schedule, but it ain't happening. Sucks.


Records I want:

Big Business "Here Come The Waterworks"
Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero" (Nowhere NEAR as shitty as some of his other stuff)
Wires on Fire (whatever... these dudes SLAY)
Fatal Flying Guilloteens "Quantum Fucking" (Former employees/older brothers... this shit WILL slay)
Nation of Ulysses "13 Point Plan to Destroy America"


Striked from the list! Things that no longer makes sense to talk about from this point on:

A. School: Seriously, who didn't get enough of this garbage the first time around? Reminiscing on stuff like this is just pointless and runs contrary to most of the experiences I know a lot of people had or have had. Maybe you did enjoy school. If you did, good for you, that's cool. Me, I run into people I went to school with for years and they treat me like a fucking war hero, when in reality I barely spoke to anybody because for four years I was surrounded by humorless watered-down future members of some Mike Harris Toronto conservative party.

B. Mom and dad: "My family" this, "my family" that... let's hear it for dysfunction once in awhile. I'm pretty sure my family would throw me to a pack of wolves if they felt like it, and I'm probably a better person for it.

C. "I hate Japan" followed by 20 minutes of non-stop bitching. Just get a ticket home. Sell your shit and leave. We're not talking brain surgery.

D. Girlfriend/Boyfriend.

E. Le Mepris: We broke up because one dude couldn't get along with another. That simple.

F. "What part of Europe are you from?" Compton, uh, Dre found me in the slums.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Well, allow me to retort... 30/30 day 2.

Got a whiff of some teenage girl bullshit via boredom.

Last year a friend got bored and updated the Yatsushiro wikipedia page with a bunch of half-truths. Oddly enough, most of them are factually verifiable. I had mentioned something about how we should turn it into an absurdity contest, and then nothing else was made of it.

You're happy, I'm happy. OK.

Anyway, I checked it out yesterday to see what was going on with it, and not only had a few wikipedia superheros ("I live behind a screen!") gone in and expressed their expert historical opinions, one d-bag fired off with:

"90% of this can be deleted. I understand it was written by some Texan who was for some baffling reason employed to teach English in Yatsushiro. He has a talentless blog, composed mostly of swearing, bragging and references to his tedious antics, in which he refers to this entry about Yatsushiro in Wikipedia, so I assume he was congratulating himself. Yawn. Kikimac 18:21, 25 March 2007 (UTC)"

Well, you understand wrong. I also commend you for signing somebody else's name to it. Your grammar isn't exactly going to get you published anytime soon, either.*

But don't worry... I fixed it for you, you fucking cow.

* = Me = published author. You = anonymous doucher hiding behind the persona of a 90 pound girl I happen to think is very nice.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I hope so.

March to fuzz / March to fired

30 in 30/1.


Just spent a week in Kyushu. It was nice overall, although towards the end I had a bad luck streak that has only continued.

The roundup, you ask?


- Girls
- Came out of retirement again on the drinking thing (well, 3 beers)
- Ipod broke
- Ex-bosses stick their tongues up my Hershey
- Stabbed in the hand cleaning up somebody's mess
- Glasses broke
- Think I might marry an OL.
- Mt. Aso death march from 4:30 AM onward.
- Old creepy Japanese woman admonished me to do the deed that my Jamaican college roommates advised me against
- Hung out with the OTHER angry black dude I'm best friends with
- 'What part of Europe are you from?' x 1000
- May be getting pledged to enroll in a black fraternity. I'm not kidding you.
- Portugal 3 ROCKING ME FROM THE FLOOR UP. Thanks Kazuki!
- 11 hour-deep Nyquill pass-out

The death of the ipod was a problem that could not have come at a worse time. I sincerely hope whoever checked my unit gets a vitamin deficiency and has to spend 2 or 3 hours in a state of great agony and boredom whilst getting a blood transfusion. Or Hepatitis.

Where the fuck am I going to put the new Dinosaur album?


Anyway, life's playlist:

Mudhoney (first two records)
Dinosaur Jr (You're Living All Over Me)
Karp (self-titled)
God's Temple of Family Deliverance
Mobb Deep (Assorted... just any song about killing people, really)
Locust (Plague Soundscapes)
English Beat (singles: Save it For Later/Mirror in the Bathroom)
The Jam (Eaton Rifles)
Sade (Any... 'natch)
Chavez (any)