Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Vincent Gallo vs. Steve Albini: AKA, THE SHIT IS OFFICIAL!

Edit: this post has been updated for accuracy.

This centers over a fight about a regular poster (and member of the EXCELLENT "low intensity" band Rifle Sport, and not Flour as previously posted) selling a guitar to Vincent Gallo. The whole of the thread is located at this URL.

Basically, Albini made fun of Gallo after a guitar was sold to him by a forum regular. Gallo logged onto Albini`s awesome and very fun electrical audio forum and retorted:

From Vincent Gallo,
No offence Mr. Steve Albini but I have been into Veleno and Travis Bean guitars since my early teens, long before your interest in them. I worked at a guitar shop that was a dealer of both along with Veillette Citron, Alembic, S.D. Curlee and others. Since the 80’s I have had several of my guitars featured on the back page of Guitar Player Magazine as part of the Encore feature that Tom Wheeler edited. (Full-page photo of a rare vintage guitar) In 1978-1980 I played a Wedge in the No Wave band GRAY that include member Jean Michel Basquiat. In 1981 I purchased a Veleno for $475 from a dude named Jimmy who worked in the art department on the film All That Jazz. Since my interest in older rare things started long before the Internet my searches were done in a different way than yours. For example, I put together the largest collection of sound gear made by Western Electric. I did so on a dishwasher salary and long before the web. I was a member of underground mailing lists and networked the USA and Japan like a maniac. To collect with little money I had to buy and sell a ton of guitars microphones and hifi gear. Over the years I have earned a lot about sound and sound recording and have written some well-known essays on the subject. My point of view has always been way more radical than any of your practices. I take offence to your slight, as you clearly do not know anything about me. I was never interested in your Bean or Veleno guitars (which I knew you had), because you hack up your instruments. I prefer things left the way they were made. Your guitars are all modified for reasons I could never understand. In any case, these days I make it clear on the web that I will pay higher than high for any Travis Bean or Veleno guitar as I am luckily very rich. vincentgallo@vincentgallo.com

The Albini reply followed:
Mr Gallo,

Thank you for submitting your resume, but unfortunately the position of self-obsessed douchebag has been filled. We'll keep your details on file and if anything opens up, we'll stuff a note in the vagina of a woman with low self-esteem.

Congratulations on becoming rich and owning things.


Now, I hate to say I really enjoy this kind of gawker-type bullshit, but it IS funny, and one of the guys involved in this fracas made Songs About Fucking. I think we`re all allowed one every now and then, and seeing as how Killdozer made records in homedude`s basement...

Dear rock and roll...

Remember when you were fun? You know, fun? FUN? Not just a fucking disco biscuits factory or the realm of KIDS SKINNIER THAN ME and 'bringing it' could be done with humor and heart and power?

Yeah, well, go jack off to a White Stripes album or some shit before your illustrator work is done, BECAUSE THE TAD DVD IS NOW ONLINE AND WATCHABLE.

That noisy stuff you be hearin' is called 'distortion.' It often ends up resulting in blow jobs, cheap beer, and laughter. Get on it.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Today I taught a guy who makes 5000 dollars a day how to teach.

How many karma points will I be getting for that?

Regardless, I have realized that I miss writing. I'm going to start doing more posting here.

Also, this site needs some pictures and whatnot as a nice aside from descriptions of the kind of horrible job interviews I've had with people like ear-cancer purveyor Donna Burke or whatever group of no-funsters who write me on a Tuesday seeing if I can whitey up and stop by their office so they can be mad at me for being the palest black guy ever.

Que sera.

Here you go:

Also, I loved this record in the fall. Kaela Kimura's song "Yellow."


Video from my Bangkok trip:

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Holy screaming mother of God covered in ketchup, blood, and love YES YES YES THANK YOU!!!