Good lord I miss America.

I love grindcore. I don't love paying 40 bucks for it.

I am going through a pretty heavy bout of America withdrawal these days.

SERIOUSLY.

I think it's about time for a vacation. I just had a major job interview with a company that works out of LA AND T-dot, and I came right out and said 'relocation is not a problem.' I figure that would be the best of both worlds... home where I can actually save money and not have to deal with psychos for 3 months, then Crazy Funny Land for 3 months, over and over.

I love Tokyo. I do. Ever try heroin? Crack? PCP? Angel dust? Dr Pepper?

Same shit.

But there are a lot of downsides. Everybody leaves. People freak out. You spend a lot of time acting. Your brain turns to goo. You wonder if people want to know you because they like you, or if they want to know you because they want something from you.

Lately, my interpersonal relations have seemed to be running towards the latter. This is bumming me out.

The highs and the lows of the city function just like a drug functions in your blood stream. When it's fresh in your system, it's great to be here. It's great to be a part of the city. It's amazing when things are vital and happening and you're meeting people and laughing and you feel GOOD.

When you're not feeling good, the entire city just turns grey. You just kind of deal with things like they are accidents waiting to happen. It's crushing and harsh, and trying to describe it to people is futile, because you just come off as sad.

Eh. I shouldn't be upset. I got DVDs. I got books. I'm studying my ass off. Maybe a small trip somewhere will make me feel better. Korea, Thailand, Hong Kong...

Or Austin. :)