JET program: Great moments in "What the fuck, son?"

Sometimes the game backs up on you and gets mad greasy. Right now is one of those times. Shit's gone crazy. It's like everybody from work ran down to the front desk of the Hotel Reality and checked out at the same time. For instance, in the last month:

My boss quit.

My new boss revealed that I have more teaching experience than her. SIGNIFICANTLY more. Also: her English brings 'teh suck.'

I missed a full day of work at an elementary school because I honestly forgot it and took my vacation day for the month. The school is now pissed that they were denied my presence, and is screaming like a virgin with a thumb in 'em about me not making it out there. I was partying my ass off getting x-rays, bloodtests, and other medical work done, so I'm glad I missed it.

My bosses can't tell me how I'm getting my leaving money, how I'm getting my last check, or what the process is for going home. Yet I'm supposed to pick a day to go home.

HOW, BITCH? HOW?!?

Trying to take my last few vacation days, but everybody's bitching about me "being gone during lessons." Why give me 20 vacation days a year if that's the case? And why have me around for a whopping 7 lessons a week? Where be all the precision in this piece, son?

My new teachers can't handle a class. That's cool, because I'm at the point where I'm totally willing to punch some kid in the forehead if he can't act right.

ALTs and other people that I've barely talked to all year are now "buddy-buddying" up to me with overtures of friendship that are as fake as sweater cows in California. What's this "let's be buddies" shit? Should've been pulling that card back when a motherfucker wasn't moving and I was hanging out in my apartment. DOUCH-AY!!!

My BOE apparently knows who my successor is, but won't tell me. All I'm trying to do is clean the place, send the rest of my shit off to wherever, and bump out. Granted, I'll do better than "YOU TRIED TO POISON ME LOL ARRRRGH!", but damn, give me a little time to get this together.

Vacation request run-in-circle-a-thon turns into a fucking joke when a "I MAY try and go during these days" note to my teachers turns into an incident with my new principal, the local ALT coardinator, and various other people about the proper "chain of command" procedures. These procedures all changed when my last boss quit, but hey, I should know them anyway. Because naturally I have no clue as to what's happening.

Check please.

Seriously.