Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Hong Kong: aka "the search for food."

30 to 35 pounds in the past 9 months. Jeez man. Rocking the stick action. I've never been so small, and I need a new wardrobe at the same time from all the loss. Great. More money that I could spend on THINGS FROM WHICH I RECEIVE A MODICUM OF JOY will go to "trousers, dress shirts, and suits."

As long as I stay out of the "khakis and polos!" game I'm straight. The day that one goes down you'll find a very messy scene in a warm bath involving yours truly. I would take a picture of me with my shirt off and place it next to one of me from the summer for the sake of exposition, but it's so incredibly gay-sounding in theory that I think I'm best to stay out of that game.

Anyway...

One of my (few) beefs with Japan is that the food sucks. This is compounded by the fact that the only convenient and half-decent grocery store in my proximity went tits-up earlier on this year, leaving me on a steady diet of eggs, conbini runs for bad egg sandwiches, and 4 km bike rides just to get one bag of groceries. Yay. All of this occured under the pernicious umbrella of an unusually cold and unrelenting winter. When I went home, people were basically asking me "what did you get for Christmas? Cancer?"

So fast forward a few months and I'm off to Hong Kong for Golden Week. The thing is, the past few weeks have been ripping me down since Tokyo, and I've been on a budget of MAXIMUM 1000 yen a day (ie about $8.50 US), which I'm trying to keep inclusive with expenses. That means if I want to get a beer at night, I gotta go light one day, or just eat something simple. I can't knock it though, because the proof is in the pudding. I don't want to work anymore and this is promising to do well in the S and P 500, plus my damn expenses lightly have been ridiculous. 8000 yen phone bill for text messages? I may have to punch somebody.

So long story short: I almost don't want to go. I tried to cancel last month and they demanded half of my deposit, even though there were about 30 days until the flight. That's right; I AM RELUCTANTLY GOING ON VACATION TO A CITY I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO VISIT.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

However, after some reading, I have found a light. Apparently they have FOOD in Hong Kong. Real food. Heavy food. Cheap food. And lots of it. Good. I'm starving here.

Thai? I'll try that on for size.
Pizza? My former fat-ass will come out the gate and go 3 dishes deep.
Chinese? Hey, as long as it's not a harvested organ from a nun, slap it on that plate and fire on with that soy.
Burgers? It will go down, son.

Here's to throwing up on a Hong Kong streetcorner and then going back for thirds. I am ready, land of Chan.

(Also: bootleg DVDs)

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