Friday, November 11, 2005

Fun with vulgarity.

The school librarian stopped me today and showed me a funny book on the way home. She was explaining to students about sign language, and the differences between American and Japanese sign language.

Let the hilarity commence:

How has anybody NOT gotten shot over this shit?

And if anybody's wondering, here's a blast from my film school past, replete with valediction:

In the winter of 2002, I was having a pretty shitty time. I hated my classes, I had basically been disconnected from most of my friends, my landlord went out of his way to be an asshole in pre-SARS Toronto (where moving was impossible), and there were enough romantic woes to make slashing my wrists seem like the best possible antidote. Oh yeah, this was also the period where the Bush Administration shifted from "transparently incompetent and well-meaning" to "we'll use 'terror' as an excuse to fuck your grandmother if we want to."

I was taking a documentary class with a teacher who hated me. She had something against Americans, or the personality of a piece of plywoord, or scurvy, or something like that. We had to do proposals for documentary projects, and I did one about the word "fuck" called "FUCK: THE MOVIE." Basically it was a chance to get to know the word, it's etymology, and it's impact on society.

My classmates stared at me like I had committed seppuku in the middle of the room.

So I got reemed out by the teacher and my fellow classmates were completely unsupportive. Funny enough, a suitably more popular kid in class (who disliked me, as I did him, although the feud has long since ended) suggested doing a movie about bathroom stories, and everybody got really excited about that one. I thought it was retarded easy humor that you could slide a slick veneer on, whereas the implications of "bad" language have always been fascinating to me... "don't put those vowels together in that way! Jesus will cry!"

This guy asked me what I intended to shoot to include in the film in an extremely cocky manner. I harrumphed, blew some wind through my teeth, and replied "pictures of people going the bathroom."

I cemented my unpopularity in documentary filmmaking 101 at that moment.

Anyway, the year sucked, things were awful, and I got so sick that I was literally going to march into the school one day and say "I'll come back next year." I still don't know why I finished film school and didn't switch to poli-sci or something. Regardless, guess what I found on some random browsing mission today while avoiding studying?

"I caught the premiere screening of Fuck last night at AFI Fest. As you know, Kevin pops up for some interviews talking about the word, how he has embraced it in his films, and more. Overall the flick was a funny and thoughtful mixture of flicks like "The Aristocrats" and "Bowling for Columbine", stylistically. The interviews are people as varied as Pat Boone and Ron Jeremy."

I'll take my "groundbreaking vision award" anytime, please. I salute the filmmaker for executing this, the same idea I had while suffering from near-pneumonia and a broken heart.


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